above.
This is an excellent model of an essay that uses a wide variety of sentence structures with just an occasional slip, shows good collocation with very few unnatural word combinations and is structured somewhat well.
It's weaknesses include not really having clear topic sentences, a couple of unsupported conclusions and spending too much time talking about things which don't really address the question.
Aha! I figured out how to connect the intro to BP1 as I allude to in the video.
ReplyDelete"These bountiful choices, may, in fact, be to humanity's detriment."